As I write this, I can't help but bounce my legs up and down. I can't stay still, the more calories I can get out of my body, the better. If I can exert enough energy I wont have to feel what I'm really feeling. If I can make sure I am thinner than I was this morning, tomorrow morning, then everything will be okay.
The funny thing about a broken heart is that when you think it's not broken anymore, you're reminded at the most inconvenient time ever that it indeed still is. It hurts ten fold when you find out that way.
I received a text message while at work today that was not intended for me. I surprised even myself when I couldn't handle my emotions. I wanted to feel physical pain immediately so I didn't have to feel what my heart was so blatantly feeling. I needed to instantly lose twenty pounds that very second because that could be the only reason I was so useless to this person. So overlooked, so worthless. I came home and did the only thing I knew would make me feel better. I cried. I cried and I did jumping jacks. I cried and I moved as much as I could till I couldn't feel my legs anymore. Till I couldn't feel my heart anymore. Till I couldn't feel anymore.
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