I received the greatest gift in a long time last month. In theory from my cousin but ultimately from a three year old boy named Dexter Spencer. That night Dexter was the man of the night, dressed in the tiniest blue jeans, a black and purple striped sweater, a stylish green vest and bright green spectacles to match. Holding the hands of anyone who would take his, Dexter walked around the room saying Hello to everyone, situating himself on the floor in front of a live band while he pounded on a drum along with the music, or singing O Canada while his Mother was explaining why we had all gathered together for this spectacular night. Dexter is quite possibly the cutest (think the kid from Jerry McGuire just smaller and cuter) and happiest toddler I have come to meet. It wasn’t Dexter’s birthday last night, but we were celebrating this little child’s life. Dexter unfortunately was born 12 weeks premature, with a bleed in his brain that ended up causing him to have Cerebral Palsy. The only way he can get around is with a walker or by the hands of others. A year ago he was diagnosed with Liver Cancer and with six rounds of chemo, and more than ten surgeries, Dexter was officially put into remission about six months ago. He is now experiencing seizures and is being tested for Autism. Last night was the first time I had met Dexter and his family, as we gathered in a small room above a hockey arena in a successful attempt to raise money for this little boys medical bills. The parents couldn’t have been much older than I am and have just claimed bankruptcy to afford to pay for Dexter’s medication.
If I learned anything from Dexter, it’s that you have to make the most of life. I can’t imagine that he is completely oblivious to what is happening to him, yet he still walks around with a smile on his face, wanting to behave like a three year old boy. We have to know that no matter what is going on in our lives, we have to keep fighting. The battle isn’t over until your life is over. If we want to be happy we have to will ourselves to be happy. We have been so programmed to believe that when we experience hardship it gives us the right to be miserable. That if someone wrongs us, it gives us the go ahead to seek revenge or to tell them in a less than polite way what we think of them. Some of society has been manufactured into thinking that life owes them something when they experience pain, disease, loss, heartache or anything remotely negative. Others believe that for some reason they must have deserved it for one reason or another, and take it out on others or in the form of self harm. I think life doesn’t really owe us anything, maybe we owe life a little something. Why is it so easy to blame someone else when terrible things occur but when wonderful things happen there is no one but ourselves to take the credit for it. Maybe we should learn how to be beyond grateful when good things happen. It’s so easy to forget the good when there is often so much bad. If we look around and experience the good a little more, the bad wont seem so... well... bad. Why can’t we be grateful when bad things happen too? Chances are it will hurt for a little while but it too shall pass. I think some of us need to look outside ourselves a bit more often and lend out a helping hand. Send out some loving vibes, give someone a hug who really needs it, ask someone who is having a shitty day if they want to talk about it. It doesn’t hurt anyone in the process to be more selfless and karma wont forget it either.
I think I may have gotten slightly off track here but I think my point is to keep fighting no matter what is going on in your life. Things may get better, but maybe they wont. Either way it doesn’t mean we can’t find the joy and beauty in this world. It doesn’t mean we can’t have more fabulous days than miserable ones. It means it’s better to leave this world with a smile on our face, being able to say we tried as hard as we could to be happy and to make others happy in the process, and to be remembered as a kind soul when our time is up.
Thank You Dexter Spencer for making my life a little more loved.
